Meet Nokukhanya

“The day I delivered my stillborn baby, I lost my husband in a shack fire.” Take however much time you need to let that sink in… Nokukhanya lost her baby and her husband in less than 12 hours. You would think she would be lying down crying herself to sleep, but she isn’t. Nokukhanya is sitting beside the bed of her burned, not even three-year-old son, Intando, at the Red Cross Children’s Hospital. She hasn’t even physically recovered from the birth of her stillborn yet.

Nokukhanya loved her husband very much. He was a good man and a good father. He had given Intando his name, which means “God’s love”. Despite their financial hardships, they were excited about the imminent birth of their second child. Nokukhanya is thirty years old and healthy, and they were expecting an uncomplicated birth. So, when she went into early labour at 4 am on a Friday, there was no concern. But by 8 pm, Nokukhanya started to bleed. The next few hours saw her go from Hanover District Hospital to Mowbray Maternity Hospital, where she was given the news that the baby’s heart was not beating. And then she had to go through the rest of the labour and birthing of her stillborn baby all by herself, only to say goodbye. All she wanted was her husband by her side, who had stayed home to look after Intando. So, when she couldn’t get hold of him on the phone, and he didn’t show up at the hospital the next day, she started to panic. Sadly, a fire had engulfed their shack that very night and a neighbour only had enough time to pull Intando out to safety.

Nokukhanya sits next to her little boy’s bed at Red Cross, in shock. But Intando doesn’t know this. He is smiling, regardless of all his burn wounds and pain. He is a bubbly, happy little boy and is just too pleased to have his mom by his side again. That’s all he needs right now. Nokukhanya still has much to process and even more to grieve about. But that needs to wait right now because her priority is her little boy. “I have lost everything, our home, our clothing. All I’m left with, is Intando.” She goes on to say, “It’s been really tough. I am emotional. I still can’t fathom how this happened. Losing my husband who was my pillar.”

Nokukhanya has a long and difficult road ahead of her. With no family support in Cape Town, and only an elderly father in Umtata, her options are limited. But for the time being she has the support of the Red Cross Children’s Hospital to get her and Intando through the worst of their trauma, so she can currently just focus her energy on their healing process. Women like Nokukhanya are strong. She has been through so much in her life already and will still go through many of life’s experiences and hardships, but she is a survivor and she has the best motive a woman can have to pick herself up and eventually carry on: the adoring gaze of her son.